Selfish --> Selfless

Whew. Do I need this one. I'm preaching to myself here y'all because let me tell you something I am learning more, and more, of lately: humility ain't easy.

Whenever I find myself in a funky mood or in a place where I seem to have lost sight of my joy momentarily, my immediate response almost always is to go God and ask "Why?"

Why isn't this happening yet? What do I need to do in order for this to happen? Why did I lose my joy God? Why are you putting me through all of this?

Well, because my eyes are so focused on my wants, and needs, and desires, and timeline...that I can't see anything beyond myself. I feel like a mom who needs to put her toddler in timeout as I type this, except that I'm the toddler in this scenario. It's weird feeling, when you realize that you've been acting like a toddler, but what a humbling one at that. Which is exactly what I need right about now, a big 'ol piece of humble pie.

But what does it mean to be humble really? If we serve at church every once in awhile, or go on mission trips, or give away all our old clothes to the needy; is that the criteria for be "humble"? Part of it, perhaps, but I am slowly learning that being humble means something much more than that. Those acts of service begin to come as a natural response to humbleness, and from them comes the purest and most sincere form of true joy. Serving God, and serving others. But how do we get ourselves to that place?

How do we go from being selfish to being selfless?

Step one perhaps, is realizing that we are being selfish, and asking for forgiveness for our toddler-like behavior, which really benefits no one, especially not ourselves. But God is a good Father, He is a God of mercy and of grace, and just like any good parent, He eagerly awaits our sincere hearts and apologies, and lovingly welcomes us back into His open embrace. He gives us another chance, He let's us learn from our mistakes and try again. What a good God He is 💛

When I become aware of my near-sightedness, I can start to shift my mindset, towards God and towards others. And then...something amazing starts to happen, God starts to soften my heart, and my actions start carrying a much deeper and fulfilling meaning ("...and the Grinch's heart grew three sizes that day." right?) We start to be overwhelmed with thankfulness that we are able to serve others from out of our brokenness, thankfulness for a God who can take a heart of stone, and turn it into a bright, and burning, light of love for His glory!

My heart's deepest prayer this week is that the Lord would keep my eyes so fixed on Him, that I am not even able to see my own selfish wants and "lack" but that I am completely full, and over-pouring with gratitude knowing that God is working through me to help in the lives of others.

Much love my friends!

Always,

Nicole 💕